Why is this so hard?
Divorce is hard because it is the tearing apart of two lives. When two people try to pull away from each other they may end up losing part of themselves. It’s also likely that the other person may still be an unwelcomed part of your life.
Divorce is messy! Divorce is ugly. Divorce is painful! Divorce is emotionally, mentally, psychologically and physically draining. It can sap away your sense of identity, self-esteem, self-confidence and hope for the future. Your self-image is at a crossroad. You are unsure of yourself. This is a new experience and you may need some help and guidance.
Divorce is a multi-faceted experience. It is an experience that involves many moving parts. The troubles are compounded when children, single family home, assets, wealth, friends and families are involved.
Sometimes divorce is not something someone pursues, but rather an experience they were forced to encounter suddenly and unexpectedly. Many people in this situation are unprepared and had never planned for this. They end up facing uncertainties, insecurities, and emotional upheaval as they enter the unknown.
Questions you may ask yourself while going through a divorce?
- How long will this continue to hurt?
- Can I make it through?
- Can I fall in love again?
- Can I trust another person again?
- What just happened?
- How will my children survive through this?
No one divorce is the same as any other!
Each person is unique and each couple is unique and different. Divorce can affect your sense of well-being. Your children’s lives will be in upheaval having now to see their parents in two different places and times. Many emotions can come bubbling up, and children are not trained or experienced to handle all of these without any repercussions to their sense of stability at home, at school and in their social world. Children often need counseling and therapy to help them sort out their pain, anger, frustration and disappointment. Children may also experience mental and emotional turmoil to the extent they may blame themselves and carry upon themselves a false sense of responsibility. This can cause mental health challenges.
Common emotions and feelings experienced from a divorce situation
- Fear of the future
- Fear of the unknown
- Questions about one’s identity and self-esteem
How can a therapist help me?
A trained and skillful therapist is one who has been formally educated with necessary training and insights to help clients see their blind spots. Getting help from a trained and skilled therapist who can help you navigate this can help you discover the hidden potential you never knew existed. There will be days you wish your spouse will come back and there will be days you wish they were dead. The skilled therapist can help you discover the truth which can set you free.
After the divorce is finalized, you will enter into “singlehood”. This is not the type of singlehood that you were in before any prior marriage. There is a world of difference in these two types of singlehood. You’ll have to learn to navigate through a change in status and ensure that it does not take away your true sense of identity. Many people carry too much baggage from past failed relationships and carry these forward into new relationships. A trained and skillful therapist can help you “unpack” and help you make wise decisions to only have and carry the necessities for the journey ahead. It may take some skilled work to shut down the voice of the “inner-critic” which casts self-doubt, fear and create false self-image.
Consider taking a flight to a new exotic place with a possibility of staying in this new place permanently. But you will be limited to “only” have two checked bags. Then, you can have one other “carry-on” bag. You will have to be wise to know what to disown, discard, leave behind and only take with you the most important belongings for your next phase of life. Your carry-on bag will be your immediate resource kit which is your tool box that can and should only have the necessary coping skills and true self-identity maintaining tools.
You may now become a “divorcee”. What does this term mean? Let us sit together to peel this term out and take charge to only allow it to function and operate within its own set boundaries. “Your happiness and freedom from all of these will solely depend on you!”
If you’re ready to stop the hurt and get on the road to recovery give us a call! Our office is conveniently located on 2233 Park Avenue (US-17), Building 500 Suite 103, Orange Park, FL 32073.
- Tel : (904) 596-0496
- Email : email@example.com
- Web address : www.upliftcousnelingtherapy.com